Being home alone with the new year fast approaching is an opportune time to look back at the crazy year that was 2011. I’m writing this in my long-neglected Moleskine. Looking back at the notes I have in here, it’s amazing that they all happened this year: South By Southwest, documenting the SPAM Jam, various Makaha Studios meetings.

Then of course, I got the PBS job. So basically I haven’t written in here since. Ironic, since I now write full time. Maybe that will be my first new year resolution: write in my Moleskine more. Sounds so disgustingly hipster. But it’s quite refreshing to write, actually write things down, versus type.

Words cannot fully express how grateful and blessed I am to have accomplished so much this year. I have a job with so much potential as a career in writing and producing. I moved back to Honolulu (three different apartments in a year!). And I got back in shape and am very close to reaching my weight loss goal. Like, 5 pounds away.

It’s just dawned on me how with each of those goals I’ve set out to achieve and accomplish, I was scared every time. But every time, I had someone to talk to, someone to cry to and seek encouragement from. I’m so thankful to have these people in my life. Thank you for helping me find the courage to change the aspects of my life I was dissatisfied with. A lot of the time, that extra push (and hug) is all I need. There are so many of you – you know who you are. Thank you.

Oh geez, and let’s not forget all the fun I had when I wasn’t worrying about life goals. South By Southwest 2011 was a way different and livelier experience, thanks to my Makaha Studios family. That “chariot race” on the pedicabs is the only thing I’m thinking about right now. And as far as sessions, Sarah B. Nelson’s one on leadership in creative environments struck a chord with me. How to approach certain team conflicts and particularly, knowing yourself, being emotionally literate and addressing your fears before you can be an adequate team leader. Still working on this…

Then there was Lollapalooza. I’m still getting over losing my camera which had, among other photos, my Muse photos from their headlining night. Ahhh well. The memories are all up in here *points at head*… and Facebook.

Now that I’m running out of things to write, I’ll jot down some new year resolutions for myself:

1. Write in my Moleskine more (vs. type)
2. Maintain my fitness level/figure, through diet and bootcamp or gym time
3. Handle my insecurities better – “be fearless”
4. Finish that documentary…
5. Be a better version of myself… someone people enjoy having around.

See you in the new year.

-Liberty

I learned of his passing through the speed of Twitter. Although I knew it was coming, I was still in shock. The man who revived and strengthened a once-dying company, led a fledgling animation studio and changed the game in the creative, marketing and tech industries, was gone.

Even though I didn’t know him personally, he had indirectly touched my life in many ways. My first job out of college was working at his company, via an Apple Store. Through my training at Cupertino HQ and my employment, I understood up close how the company ticked… and I created many friends along the way.

Jobs’s products enrich my life. I own a MacBook Pro, which I use for work and play. After my iPhone was stolen, I realized how it had vastly changed the way I used a mobile phone. (Fortunately, I got it back.) He changed the way I listened to and consumed music – and as a music fanatic, this is a big deal. And he led Pixar, the film studio who’d produce modern classics like Toy Story, Finding Nemo and my personal favorite, Up.

As a senior at HPU, I chose Apple for my advertising case study. Through a multimedia presentation and a paper, I broke down the brilliance of the company’s marketing and creative.

Most important, he was responsible for the operating system and applications where I’d learned how to edit videos, create publications and ultimately tell stories digitally. To say that I wouldn’t be where I am today because of him would be giving him too much credit, but he played a significant role in providing the tools to get me here.

Last night, as I made my way to meet up with old Apple friends at Ala Moana, I thought of Justin, my late friend and job training companion in Cupertino. With my iPhone, I left him a Facebook message:

“Give Uncle Steve a hug for me, will ya?”

Over the past several days, support has been mounting for Eliza, a Muse fan from Utah who is battling cancer. Fellow Muse fans are coming together to organize and send Eliza a care package. An active member on the official Muse message board, Eliza is undergoing chemotherapy.

“She’s remarkably optimistic and brave, and not once did she let on that she was depressed or nervous about her condition,” said melon, a friend of mine on the board who is overseeing the care package project. “I find her strength inspiring, and I would appreciate it so much… if we could do something special for her to show her how much we care.”

I don’t personally know Eliza, but her story of strength and humility has moved me to send her some gifts of aloha: a postcard, macadamia nuts and lei for Eliza and her 12-year-old daughter.

If you wish to show your support for Eliza, email carepackageforeliza (at) gmail.com for more information. You may also help contribute to the cost of shipping the care package to Eliza. A PayPal account for this purpose is in the works.

You may also visit these links for more info:

Care Package thread on Muse message board

Care Package Facebook group (closed group)

Panic ensued. I felt hopeless. Stunned. Feared for my life.

I ran to the beach, where other friends gathered, hoping to avoid any crashing planes. I grabbed a little girl’s hand and together we headed to an abandoned house on the beach.

Then we died.

Well, not really. Obviously. I just woke up with a start.

It was a dream I felt like I had before, but it was never this bad. It was never multiple planes. I don’t remember ever blaming aliens for the planes crashing. And it was so vivid and cinematic – I could actually hear the planes falling, that stomach-wrenching engine wail before hitting the ground.

Then, as I usually do after experiencing unusual dreams, I wondered why. September 11 is coming up. Jon figured it was a product of frequent traveling. But I figured it had to be some sort of metaphor.

Through a Google search, I came across another blog post from someone who had an eerily similar dream. According to her post and several dream interpretation websites, plane crashes in dreams may signal underlying anxiety. In my dream, I felt helpless and scared. It may mean I feel the same way in real life. In fact, I had recently taken a health assessment and found that stress was putting my well being at moderate risk.

There’s been a lot going on in my life. I’ve moved out of my parents’ house and started a new job. I’m about to move again with a roommate until the end of the year, then find another place with my sister and friends. I’ve also been working to finish a side project, and am in the middle of getting my car fixed.

I find myself worrying: about whether the multiple moves will go okay; about whether this side project will ever get done; about whether I should fix my car or get a new one. It’s stupid stuff that I shouldn’t really need to worry about, but do anyway.

I need to remember that unlike a witness to a plane crash, there is a lot I can control. I need to remember to take things one step at a time. And I need to remember:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Maybe then, will reality and my dreams be less scary.

Check out the music video here: